Good Stuff

Tips, tricks and techniques that help you explore and enjoy your communication awareness.

Quote of the Day

Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
-Spanish Proverb

Dear Jane

Dear Jane,

How can I help one of my employees who isn’t doing a good job?  I think she wants to improve, but I don’t know how to help her.


Unhappy counselor

Dear Unhappy,

You’ve already made a good start by wanting to help rather than punish.  Are you sure she knows what and how to do what is expected of her?  I always appreciate being told what to do rather than what not to do.  Some people just yell “NO!” at me and it’s confusing.


Your friend,


Tip of the Day

Irony is when someone writes, “Your an idiot.”


Defensiveness is Not Your Friend

A block to productive conversations about performance improvement is defensiveness.  It’s our natural protection against attack, and is often the first reaction to any perceived criticism.  If you want your message to be heard and taken to heart, you’ll need to package it so that it gets past defensive barriers.

  1. Be specific. Name the actions you want to discuss and give examples.
  2. Use “I” language to say what you want, and what you observe.
  3. Avoid beginning sentences with “you” unless they are positive.
  4. Don’t say ‘You always” or “you never”; don’t say what you think the other person wants or thinks.
  5. Be clear about the effect the performance has on others.
  6. Offer to help.